Dance 10; Looks 3
Touring production portrayal by Kristen Martin. (Paul Kolnik)
"Dance: Ten, Looks: Three" is the tenth musical number in A Chorus Line, and is a solo by Val. The number was later sung by Audrey Landers in the 1985 film version of the stage play.
Lyrics[]
(spoken)
But after a while I caught on. I mean, I saw what they were hiring. I also swiped my dance card once after an audition, and on a scale of ten, they gave me for dance, ten, for looks, three. Well!
(sung)
Dance: ten, looks: three
And I'm still on unemployment
Dancing for my own enjoyment
That ain't it, kid
That ain't it, kid
Dance: ten, looks: three
It's like to die
Left the theater and
Called the doctor for
My appointment to buy
This and that
Bought myself a fancy pair
Went to the county fair
Did the nose with it
All that goes with it
This and that
Had the bingo-bongos done
Suddenly, I'm getting national tours
This and that won't get you jobs
Unless they're yours
Didn't cost a fortune neither
Didn't hurt my love life either
Flat and sassy
I would get the strays and losers
Beggars really can't be choosers
That ain't it, kid
That ain't it, kid
Fixed the chassis
"How do you do?"
Life turned into an
Endless medley of
"Gee, it had to be you!"
Why?
This and that
Where the cupboard once was bare
Now you knock and someone's there
You have got 'em, hey
Top to bottom, hey
Pitter-pat
Just a dash of silicone
Shake your new maracas and you're fine
This and that can change your life
They sure changed mine
(spoken)
- Val: You're all staring at me, aren't you?
- Connie: I wouldn't mind looking like you.
- Val: Well, then, go out and do it!
Have it all done
Honey, take my word
Grab a cab, c'mon
See the wizard on
Park and 73rd for
This and that
Orchestra and balcony
What they want is what you see
Keep the best of you
Do the rest of you
Split or splat
I have never seen it fail
Debutante or chorus girl or wife
This and that
Yes, this and that
Have changed my life
Dance: ten, looks: three
And I'm still on unemployment
Dancing for my own enjoyment
That ain't it, kid
That ain't it, kid
Dance: ten, looks: three
It's like to die
Left the theater and
Called the doctor for
My appointment to buy
This and that
Bought myself a fancy pair
Went to the county fair
Did the nose with it
All that goes with it
This and that
Had the bingo-bongos done
Suddenly, I'm getting national tours
This and that won't get you jobs
Unless they're yours
Didn't cost a fortune neither
Didn't hurt my love life either
Flat and sassy
I would get the strays and losers
Beggars really can't be choosers
That ain't it, kid
That ain't it, kid
Fixed the chassis
"How do you do?"
Life turned into an
Endless medley of
"Gee, it had to be you!"
Why?
This and that
Where the cupboard once was bare
Now you knock and someone's there
You have got 'em, hey
Top to bottom, hey
Pitter-pat
Just a dash of silicone
Shake your new maracas and you're fine
This and that can change your life
They sure changed mine
Have it all done
Honey, take my word
Grab a cab, c'mon
See the wizard on
Park and 73rd for
This and that
Orchestra and balcony
What they want is what you see
Keep the best of you
Do the rest of you
Split or splat
I have never seen it fail
Debutante or chorus girl or wife
This and that
Yes, this and that
Have changed my life
Teen Version Changes[]
In the version of A Chorus Line meant to be performed by a younger audience, the following lyrics are changed:
- "Tits and ass" is changes to, "This and that"
- "Tightened up the derriere" is changed to, "Went to the county fair"
- "Didn't hurt my sex life either" is changed to, "Didn't hurt my love life either"
- The spoken section:
- Val: You're all looking at my tits now aren't you?
- Shelia: They aren't that big.
- Val: I heard that, you bitch. I didn't want them like yours, I wanted them in proportion.
- Shelia: Well, you got what you paid for.
- Connie: I'd be happy with just one of yours.
- Val: Then go out and buy 'em!
- Turns into:
- Val: You're all staring at me aren't you?
- Connie: I wouldn't mind looking like you
- Val: Well, then, go out and do it!